She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
