Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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