I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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