So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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