why didn't you poke me back
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
