Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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