Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
