Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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