oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
