You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
