Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
