So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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