1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
there was a trapeze. enough said
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
