is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
