i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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