is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
