So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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