so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
