I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
