I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
