i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
