We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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