writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
