You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
