Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
