feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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