just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
