Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
