I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
