She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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