so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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