I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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