would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
