but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
