I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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