I am spending my child support on dildos
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
