my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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