I heard we made out
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
