My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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