omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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