My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You can't just leave with hair like that
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
