haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Your penis caused this!
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