Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
