ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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