a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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