Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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