Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
