I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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