I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
