Ambien. No doubt about it.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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