Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
