we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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