How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
