I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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