Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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