so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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